


New Perspectives

by desaulnier_s



Category: Jennifer's Body (2009)
Genre: F/F, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Jennifer is soft for Needy, Near Death Experiences, Needy is depressed, New perspectives, Romantic Fluff, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicide Attempt, Support is everything, slow-burn kinda, triggering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-20 11:29:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22183189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desaulnier_s/pseuds/desaulnier_s
Summary: Jennifer hadn’t realized much and when she finally did, it may have been too late. Tragedy opens up new meanings to Jennifer and Needy as they discover the unspoken. Together. “Always.”*Suicidal Thoughts* *Intense* *Triggering*
Relationships: Jennifer Check/Anita "Needy" Lesnicki
Comments: 5
Kudos: 47





	1. Never-ending

Jennifer reached for her phone across the dashboard. Her fingers worked furiously as she typed out another nagging text. 

‘We going or what’  
‘Don’t be such a tampon’  
‘NEEDY’  
‘Are u really ditching me’  
‘The concert is gonna start soon’  
‘Come on’  
‘Don’t make me drag your ass there’

A minute passed. No reply. Jennifer was left with dewy air and the late night silence of Devil’s Kettle. Her thinnest nerves were already ticked to their stems (especially after Mrs. Gallagher had failed her only to keep her off color guard), and Needy should know it. Jennifer just wanted to unwind tonight. She left the 2003 Chrysler and started towards Needy’s front door. Since anyone could recall, Jennifer has never been one for patience. Or security. Or open-mindedness. Or anything other than glamor, because she didn’t need to: Needy would do it for her. Yeah, always. And so, Jennifer lived with one thought and one only. Up until that day, at least. 

She shifted the worn down pottery to reveal the location of Needy’s spare key. It’s only real purpose was probably for Jennifer and when she needed to enter. She opened the door. Jennifer’s first step in was a familiar one, a reminder of their younger years and when they only consisted of hangouts, and sleepovers, and innocent play dates. But more recently, the girls clung to the few hours past curfew because (according to Jennifer) things change. They grow. Maybe it’s even quicker than Needy would like, but she keeps to herself and accepts it because she accepts everything. 

As Jennifer’s boots met more carpet, an unrecognizable pang thrashed its way into her chest. It had caught her off guard. Her senses tightened as she cautiously shut the door behind her.

“Needs?...”

Jennifer was reluctant sneaking up the stairs, but something from that gut feeling had affected her more than ever. It urged her to investigate what was strange, different. Jennifer tried to mildly avoid things like that, only because she didn’t like feeling vulnerable, but this one was so, so wrong. So she continued down the second floor hallway.

With Jennifer’s handle, Needy’s door crept open to a complete darkness. She found the light switch easily and turned it on. The bedroom seemed fine; the bed was the only thing not neat, but Where’s Needy? Jennifer stood still in the doorway attempting to recollect her scattered thoughts. Doing so, her eyes searched the floor and sharpened on a single foot. The rest was slipped away from Jennifer’s vision, behind the bed and opposite her side of the room. She allowed her curiosity to guide her towards the figure. 

Needy’s head swelled with loud, overbearing thoughts. Her wet nails dug and scratched at her scorching scalp. Her eyes squeezed shut as each strangled tear begged to seep through. She moved to her torso and squeezed her form as hard as it could bear, all the while her hands rubbed fiercely at every inch of skin they could reach. It later turned to scratching, again, and her limbs were scarred with red lines of lighter shades. Needy opened her mouth to scream, but nothing would come out. It was in attempt to find peace, keep some quiet, gain overdue relief of the black whole that sucked her energy away only in exchange for heavy spells of grief, but as always; she couldn’t, and the burden of it pulled her even further down. 

She stared at the ceiling fan and reminisced about the world; its endless flaws and its occasional upsides blessed to only the luckiest. But heaven forbid Needy was ever out with the rest of them. Sure, she has fun and loves people and things, but she constantly found herself on the bad end of a scale- where it was dark, and dreary, and everything in between. But the feeling got to the point where she couldn’t understand anything, because there were no fine lines. And there was nothing to separate either. She was just stuck. She was desperate. It had been like this long enough that she hadn’t remembered when it started. But tonight, a special logic brought her to the conclusion of ending the the feelings, escaping the void, and at last finding a freedom.

Needy picked herself up from the bedroom floor and found the medicine cabinet in the kitchen. Her mom worked the night shift, so she kept sleeping pills of all kinds. But where did the anti-psychotics come from? Needy wondered but only for a moment until she returned to her rummaging. She found two more bottles with capsules at its brim. Grabbing them, she didn’t remember anything on the labels but blood and pressure in her mom’s handwriting. She needed this to work, so Needy moved to her mom’s liquor collection. She eyeballed each glass with a solemn stare. Wine? Tequila? Beer? Honestly, she didn’t care anymore, so she just took whatever seemed fullest. Vodka and champagne. 

Needy brought all the things to her bed and laid them out. This was the only way she could think of. Out like a light, polar opposite of the dull ache she lived through every minute of every fucking day. But not anymore. Not anymore. 

She settled onto the mattress and removed all the lids and corks. The drinks were set on the night stand. Her toes curled against the sheets as she stared intently for what seemed like hours. Needy wondered if she could do it, or if she would fuck it up like everything else in her ‘life.’ Yet, thinking about all of this, crying took her by surprise. From deep inside her way of mind, air-depriving sobs began to shake her thin body. They were of anguish and misery. Needy compressed her face into her own salty hands and fell forward, sinking right into her pillow. She continued to wail in louder motions, and it wasn’t long until she started to reconsider. “I can’t do it.” Needy repeatedly told herself. “I’m a coward. Coward. Coward.” She let go of everything in her hands making the pills spread all over the damp sheets. Doubting thoughts continued to cluster her head as she cried even uglier, though that seemed impossible. “Do I want this?” She asked. “This is a failure. This is bad. No, I can’t.” She clasped the covers tighter as if she would find relief in them, but all too suddenly, blaring voices pushed off any and all of her hesitation. They spoke, “Nobody would miss you. This is your chance. Only way out.” And it was repetitive and misguided but it worked. She agreed, holding her head and mumbled once more. “I’m so fucking tired.” 

So, with every impulsive nerve within her body, Needy found the courage to take the pills right then and there. She swallowed almost everything, fistful by fistful, and with it, downed a toxic amount of alcohol for a lethal combination. But the burn of it was nothing compared to what she felt at the moment, for what she was literally doing: killing herself. For some reason, she really didn’t think of it that way. She thought of it as release. Just very, very, very, painful release because minutes later, Needy began to experience excruciating pain from the base of her stomach. Soon enough, her entire body felt a similar sensation, and she found herself rolling off the mattress and onto the carpet of her bedroom floor. The hard thud knocked her to where she couldn’t get up anymore, so she lay there. And with the bittersweet sting on her salty cheeks, Needy softly shut her eyes and let out her final breaths of a lifetime cut too short. 

It took some moments for Jennifer to register what she had found. Needy, no... Needy’s body, was lying on the floor carpet, curled up into some kind of fetal position. Her skin was pink and blonde hair stuck to her moistened face. Pills of different sizes and colors were dispersed around the scene and alcohol was perched on her nightstand as if it were innocent. But Jennifer knew much better. 

She got straight into action: She sat on the floor and pulled Needy’s upper body over her lap. She immediately took out her phone. 

“911, what is your emergency?” 

“She won’t—my friend is unconscious. There’s pills and alcohol. I think she wanted to...” Jennifer’s voice cracked on her last word. Something was beginning to well in her eyes, but she didn’t have the chance to notice. “Her name is Anita Lesnicki. We’re only 17.”

The emergency dispatcher spoke in a sturdy tone. “OK, where is the location of this emergency?”

Jennifer recited it by heart. “Devil’s Kettle, 3235 Muholland Dr.” 

“Services are on their way. Stay with me, OK?”

“I will.” 

“Can you check if she’s breathing?” 

“She has a pulse. Does that count?” Taking health freshman year was revealed useful. 

“Yes, what’s your name?”

“Jennifer Check.”

“OK, Jennifer, anytime now, an ambulance should arrive at the location. You should hear the sirens beforehand. Don’t be alarmed if they bang at your door; just open it quickly so they can get your friend what she needs.”

Soon enough, everything came as the dispatcher had described. But it was a complete blur to Jennifer. A smudge in her memory. Anything the paramedics asked when in one ear and out the other. And if she did respond, it was blatant. All she could think about was Needy pulling through this hell of a situation. And as much as she hated thinking it, the fact that she was so selfish that it kept her oblivious to Needy’s well-being.


	2. Chapter 2

Jennifer cried nonstop for over an hour. It seemed that she was grieving, not that she thought Needy wouldn’t make it; just denying and overthinking. When they told her to wait in the visitor’s lounge, Jennifer cursed and spat the worst threats her vast imagination knew of. She also repeated, “I have the fucking cops in the back of my pocket, don’t think of anything.” With that much stern in her voice, everyone believed it. 

“Jennifer?” Jennifer picked up her head and glanced to her left, where Needy’s mother sped down the hallway in her own scrubs. 

“Toni...” Jennifer rose to her feet and embraced the other, both finding solace in the familiar gesture. After a moment, the older woman pulled back and saw Jennifer’s face, damp with tears and burdening a deep anguish. 

“I came as soon as I could, what happened?” Toni peered into the glass behind them, but it was closed it with curtains. Jennifer spoke slowly. “I went to pick her up for the concert. She wouldn’t answer and when I entered her room I- Needy took some things. Everything,” and she made sure to emphasize the word, “I mean. It was all over.” 

Time passed before Toni was able to process what she’d just heard. Once she did though, she pulled Jennifer in for another hug, and the vulnerable girl gratefully took it. The rest of the world fell out from beneath her feet. Jennifer’s breath heaved with a passion. 

“I didn’t know, I should’ve known, I should’ve...” 

Clenching her fists, she sobbed uncontrollably as the emotional waves she’d been holding in carried over. The hospital’s walls echoed with her wails, bringing the attention of the overlookers. And they tried to be respectful and turn their heads or pretend like everything was ordinary, but it was utterly traumatic, the sounds. 

Soon after, Needy’s leading doctor and the on-call phycaiatrist came out of the closed room. They explained the effects of what she took and how it kept her in a coma. Needy would have to stay in the ICU until she regained consciousness, and once she did, she would be directly admitted into the psych ward. But they said she’s stable, and in between those times, they could still “visit.” Visit her but she’s not awake. That reminder only caused Jennifer more distress.

“Jennifer, Jennifer,” the older woman wiped her tears, “There is no one to blame. She will pull through, she’s a strong girl...so are you. We have to keep strong for her, okay?” At that moment, Jennifer willed it to herself. “Yeah,” she replied.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Jennifer skimmed through the latest edition of Vogue. She wasn’t too interested in the magazine, other than the Dior eau de parfum sample she tore out of it. She told always told Needy that if the content wasn’t made for children, it was for “overripe sags desperate to lift some.” It was actually a coincidence she put it down when she did, because only then did she recognize the familiar flutter of Needy’s eyelashes.

Jennifer rushed to her bedside, “Oh my god-” She ran out to the hallway and pressured random staff to find her doctor. “Hurry, she’s up!” she bellowed, dismissing the needs of other patients and addressing only Needy. She reentered the room, each nerve and doubtful thought tumbling over the next. Truthfully, Jennifer was more than afraid.

“Needs?” 

Jennifer carefully approached the girl lying on the bed. Needy blinked slowly and particularly, as if she had just been reborn and given the chance to find a feel for the world. She was disoriented and her eyes, still blurred, were only able to differentiate a person from part of the wall. Needy questioned her being there and the awful tube that stretched to her stomach. God, she thought, am I in the hospital? She hated hospitals.

“Wait-don’t try to speak, you’re not ready for it and you still have that tube down your throat.” 

Jennifer’s eyes moved throughout Needy’s face, absorbing and recalling the facial expressions she had been missing. At this point, she was stood on the narrow verge of tears, but a voice told her to hold it back. Her bands had taken Needy’s unnoticed. As if it would help, she straightened her posture and took a breath, but nothing was more effective than the pensive look Needy was giving her.

“I’ll be back, kay?” 

She nodded. Jennifer squeezed her hands back and gave her a kiss on her temple. As she left the room, a team of hospital staff came in to set things straight and evaluate. Needy observed Jennifer’s silhouette hold her chest and bend over to cry in silence. She’s vulnerable and weak, Needy thought it herself, and it’s on me. Now, every little detail of how she’d gotten there flooded her personal barrier, one that was built for the common defense of the heart. But her heart swelled and contracted in regret, and her hands gripped the roughened sheets as she attempted to blink back every tear. It wasn’t a tight grip though, because she’d been in a coma; her muscles had to be refreshed, and her entire body would need to regain functionality. 

She would need the support of her mother and Jennifer through her treatment, but Needy couldn’t imagine what’d they been through. She didn’t want to ask for anything, burden anymore than she already has. Her state of mind was shattered, like a crystal dropped for other to pick up the pieces, and when you try to reassemble it, it wouldn’t ever be the same. In the half light, each slither of the stone glistened differently or it was broke beyond repair. How fragile she was, Needy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s so short! I’ve been busy with school. Will definitely be writing more :)

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are highly appreciated! :) will be updating !


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